Antidote to Toxic Shame

The following poem is an antidote to the original Toxic Shame poem by John Bradshaw and Leo Booth

Antidote to Toxic Shame

I was there at your conception

In the breath of your mother’s courage

You felt me in the nurturing waters of her womb

I came upon you before you could speak

Before you understood

Before you had any way of knowing, I was guiding you

I held you when you were learning to walk

When you were unguarded and whole

When you were vulnerable and open-hearted

My name is Loving Kindness

I embraced you when you were magical

Before the world could teach you otherwise

I mended the fracture of your soul

I wrapped you in light and warmth

I whispered, “You are enough.”

I offered feelings of trust, beauty, wisdom, and worthiness

I gave you the freedom to explore your inner world

I reminded you that nothing was ever wrong with you

I honored your divine essence

My name is Self-Worth

I existed before shame,

Before guilt, before judgment

I am the master emotion of love

I am the internal voice that whispers words of acceptance

I am the calming breath that courses through you

With tenderness, I say, “You are safe.”

My name is Emotional Safety

I live in the light

In the clear open skies of authenticity, joy, and connection

I arrive with gentle strength

I walk through the front door, invited, cherished

I was there when you stepped into your power

I will be there with each step of your journey

I come from those who teach healing, love, and belonging

I am empowered by the quiet resilience of your soul

The kind words of a friend

The gentle mirror of your own reflection

My name is Empathy

I thrive in communities that honor diversity

In the empowerment of your true self

I stand against injustice and remind you of your worth

I offer freedom from pain that once felt eternal

A release that opens the doors to joy

I am the strength that holds you, night and day

With firm boundaries that protect and empower

My name is Resilience

You no longer need to hide from me, or your life  

For I now live inside of you, woven into your very being  

I stir your heart with inspiration and endless possibility  

Guiding you to see that there is always a new path to create  

My name is Creativity

My presence is so grounding

That you pass me on to others

Through kindness, vulnerability, empowerment, and love

My presence is so profound

That you no longer need to numb

For I teach you to feel

To heal

My name is Compassion

I live in your truth

In the depths of your being

I am the light within you

I am spiritual abundance

The harmony of love and acceptance

The antidote to compulsion

My name is Wholeness

I am healing, connection, redemption, and rebirth

I am the compassionate flame that burns away old cycles

I am your pathway to freedom

You will pass me on for generations

My name is Transformation

If these words have resonated with you, and you're ready to step into healing, self-compassion, and emotional safety, I invite you to take the next step.

Imagine breaking free from the cycles of shame, embracing your worth, and transforming your life from the inside out. Together, we can rewrite the story and create space for your authentic self to thrive.

I know the path because I’ve walked it, and I’m here to guide you. Let’s explore how my trauma-informed coaching can support you in reclaiming your power, finding your emotional safety, and stepping into the life you deserve.

Book an introductory call with me today, and let’s begin your journey toward healing and transformation.

You are not alone in this journey. The weight of toxic shame doesn't define you—it never has.

This Poem was a collaboration with OpenAI. I love what we came up with together.

Healing from Divorce is Courageous: Navigating Emotional Overwhelm and Trauma

Going through a divorce and the aftermath can be emotionally overwhelming and often traumatic. One day you have a family, a home, and a husband (or wife/partner), the next day the rug is ripped from under you and you lose your identity and all sense of security and safety. Your family is fractured and your friendship groups suddenly change.

Old emotional wounds surface and a newfound awareness of relationship patterns may emerge. The process of healing from divorce is not just about moving on from a past relationship but also about rediscovering and reclaiming yourself. It requires courage to face the pain, process the grief, and rebuild your life.

Acknowledge Your Emotions

It's crucial to acknowledge and validate your emotions during this time. It's normal to feel a wide range of emotions such as sadness, anger, fear, and confusion. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment. This emotional honesty is the first step towards healing.

Seek Support

You don't have to go through this alone. Seek support from friends, family, or a professional coach or counselor. Joining a support group for individuals going through a divorce can also provide a sense of community and understanding. A trauma-informed coach can offer valuable guidance and tools to help you navigate this challenging period.

Focus on Self-Care

Taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being is essential. Engage in activities that bring you joy and peace. This might include walking in nature, meditating, going to the beach, or reading. Prioritize your health by eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly.

Reflect and Learn

Use this time to reflect on your past relationship and learn about yourself. What patterns do you notice? What can you learn from this experience that will help you in future relationships? Journaling can be a powerful tool to process your thoughts and gain insights.

Set New Goals

As you begin to heal, think about what you want for your future. Set new personal and professional goals. This is an opportunity to redefine your life and pursue passions and interests that may have been neglected during your marriage.

Embrace Your New Identity

Divorce can disrupt and challenge your sense of identity, but it also offers an opportunity to build a stronger, more resilient self. Embrace your new identity with hope and confidence. You possess the strength and resilience to create a fulfilling and joyful life beyond divorce.

How a Trauma-Informed Coach Can Help

Working with a trauma-informed coach can be incredibly beneficial during your divorce recovery. Trauma-informed coaches are trained to understand the impact of trauma on the mind and body, and they use this knowledge to support you compassionately and effectively. 

Conclusion

Healing from divorce is a courageous journey. It involves facing difficult emotions, seeking support, practicing self-care, and embracing a new identity. Remember, you are not alone, and with time and effort, you can rebuild your life and find happiness and fulfillment once again. Working with a trauma-informed coach can provide the expert guidance and compassionate support you need to navigate this transition and emerge stronger and more resilient.